It’s easy to do, isn’t it?
The reason you are where you are is because of this person, this event or this occurrence. You can blame elegantly as Tony Robbins says, by remembering to blame parents, siblings and those that raised you for all the good you have.
And, you can blame not-so elegantly.
What does this look like?
It happens whenever you shift power outside of yourself and say I reacted that way because of what THEY did. How else could I have reacted? It was logical, rational and totally understandable.
Yes. It might have been. And yet it was still a reaction.
You want to move from reaction to responding.
Responding is where you get to think about how you want to behave under these conditions coming at you right now.
It’s like adding in a brief pause before sending that email you just drafted. Take a pause, count to ten and then decide.
Responding is the same way.
Responding is a choice process introduced by you that ads a pause.
To respond effectively, you should pose these questions to evaluate your response and decide if you are happy with it.
How do I want to respond?
Will I be happy with this response once all this emotional charge dissipates?
Is this response in alignment with who I am as a person?
Is this response what I want to be known for?
Will I regret or celebrate myself for this response tomorrow?
Do I actually need to respond or is it just my ego talking right now?